lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the day after is always just damage control
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
