I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
