she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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