Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
