idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
