He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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