Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
