I think I died a long time ago.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
