Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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