i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
