talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
