I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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