guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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