Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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