have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
