Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
