I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
