I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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