I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
