flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
