Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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