She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
