Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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