Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
