So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who died my cat blue again?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
