His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can you bring me the toilet please
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
