Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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