I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
