Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
