that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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