I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
