Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
