He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need to calm my uterus...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize