you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
