I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
birth control should be required to get into college
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
