I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
