it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
