Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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