I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
