why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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