help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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