we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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