i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
