That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
