You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
