He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
