If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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