somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
