pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
