Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just found puke in my bra..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
