I need help removing her.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
