You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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