This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
