so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
