doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
