please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The air taste purple.
Randomize
