My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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