I think my fart just growled at me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
