We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
