i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
