Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
