i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
