yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
