wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
