We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
