im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
