im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
