there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
