i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
