we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
