Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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