I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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