That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
